Ask and you shall receive

It’s easy to know what we don’t want, but creating a new future is only possible when we DO know what we want …and ask for it.

TLDR:

• We must know what we WANT in order to make it happen.

• Knowing what we want requires us to know our values.

• Asking for what we want must be done with clarity, directness and include specific details.

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Our critical mind is very powerful. It’s designed to protect us and is FABULOUS at identifying what isn’t working and what we don’t like. All the No’s.

That’s why it’s so easy to complain and criticize.
Creation takes time, destruction can happen quickly and easily.
It can take hours to write code, and only seconds to delete it.

The only problem is, No’s do not create a new future.

Saying no, and removing things, can make ROOM for a new future, but it does not CREATE a new future.

Creation is yes energy

Creation is “I want”. Creation is desire, innovation and building.

Creating a future requires us to sit in the emptiness of NO, and find the treasure of YES.

This is why asking for what you want is the first step in conversations that drive action. Unless we have a clear ask and communicate it directly our conversations aren’t taking us anywhere.

How do you find your YES?

Start with your values.
What drives you?
The Enneagram is one tool we use at Clevertech to help identify what motivates us (and others). For more on this framework, we recommend this book.

Here are nine main drivers of humans:

1. Excellence

2. Connection

3. Delighting others

4. Significance/Authenticity

5. Competency/Clarity

6. Support/Community

7. Excitement/Innovation

8. Power/Autonomy

9. Balance/Peace

Once you identify what you value, it becomes easier to know what kind of future you want to create and HOW you want to create it.

Watch how this plays out in the simple act of deciding where to go to dinner.

Person 1: Where do you want to eat?

Person 2: I don’t know. Where do you want to eat?

Person 3: Well, I crave excellence, let’s go to that Italian restaurant with the award winning chef.
-or -
I crave connection, let’s go to the Thai place that is nice and quiet and lets us have deep conversation.
-or-
I crave excitement and innovation, let’s go to that new Peruvian+Indian fusion restaurant we’ve been hearing so much about.

When we know what we value, we will have an easier time knowing what we want.

What do you value?

Go back to the list of values, and pick one or two…maybe add a few of your own - but not TOO many.
Keep it to two at the MOST.
This might take some time, but until you know what you value, your choices in life will feel out of alignment.

What do you want to create?

Where in your life is there a “void” a no, a “this isn’t working” situation? Sit with that NO, and see if a YES begins to emerge.

Rather than focusing on what you DON’T want or what isn’t working, ask yourself “What would I like to experience instead?”

One of my favorite questions is: “If I had a magic wand and could make ANYTHING happen…what would I do?” Obviously we don’t have magic wands, but this practice reveals what it is we REALLY want, and can be the first step to strategizing ways to move closer to it.

Ask for what you want… directly

The most powerful person in the room is the one who knows what they want and isn’t afraid to ask for it. (It also helps if they know how to listen well and gain consensus).

It takes time to sit in the creative process, and it can be vulnerable to share your desires and vision with others, but when we do - it gives us the opportunity to turn words into action and design a future that accomplishes great things.

Making the ask

Once you know what you want, use concise language.
Get right to the point - you can always provide context LATER.

Use verbs as often as possible.

A clear ask: “I need you to look at my pull request today, is that possible for you?”

A less direct approach: “Are you busy today? I’m wondering if you have time to take a look at my pull request at some point?”

In the first example, we get right to the point, state the request and even include the “by when” component. This approach brings clarity around what and when.
This gives the other person a chance to agree, decline or re-negotiate.

An invitation to action

Making a request is a lot like sending an invitation.

Who, what, where, when, why.

Unless we include all the components, other people don’t know what they are actually agreeing to.

Why does this matter?

When we get stuck and feel like we aren’t moving forward or making progress typically it’s because we are too focused on what we don’t like or don’t want.

In order to move into action and accomplish what is most important to us we have to consciously move into that creation energy, knowing what we want and asking for it directly and clearly.

When we have teams full of developers who have this understanding and energy, their conversations and actions are positioned to lead to results that are aligned with our goals and we can do amazing things for our clients.

Make the shift

What needs to shift for you to say “yes” and start creating the future you want?

Identify one thing today that you can start cultivating so that your actions move into proactivity rather than reactivity.