Questions to Ask When you Want to Quit
They came to me and said, “I want to quit.”
“What? Why?” I said. They told me they were overwhelmed, burnt out and couldn’t handle the workload.
They wanted to do it all by themself. Wanted to be seen as capable. Didn’t want to be judged. Didn’t want to feel like a burden. They weren’t sure she was living up to the client’s expectations.
Avoiding asking for help had taken away valuable resources that would have allowed them to feel settled, confident and thrive. During our conversation we shifted their perspective as they started to see asking for help as a strength and a way to advance their career.
But this isn’t always the outcome of these kinds of conversations. There are many times, where after exploring what an individual is looking for in a work environment or project, and their skill set and capacity, we determine that moving on is what’s best for them.
How do you know when to look for greener pastures and when to stay?
Here are some helpful questions to ask, next time you feel like quitting:
💪🏼 Do you have the resources you need?
⏳ Are the deadlines too aggressive?
😩 Are you covering for teammates who should be pulling their own weight?
💡 Are the demands of the project outside of your scope of expertise?
🤬 Are you frustrated at incompetent leadership?
Wanting to quit is an indicator that our current approach isn’t working and escape feels like the only viable option.
If there are not sufficient resources try this:
Make an assessment of what you would need
Clearly and directly ask for it
Tie your request to the collective desired outcome of the project
If the deadlines are too aggressive try this:
Ask for clarity on priorities so you can put most critical tasks first
Resist the temptation to take on too much, under promise - over deliver
If you are covering for a teammate who is not pulling their weight try this:
Get clear on what exactly you expect them to do to contribute to the project.
Deliver the feedback with kindness and clarity (we recommend the book “Radical Candor” as a starting point on how to give feedback)
Refuse to do what is not yours - even if it means things get messy, allow others to bear the responsibility of their actions.
If the demands of the project are outside of your scope of expertise try this:
Identify if you have the willingness and capacity to learn these new skills
Identify which resources would best support your efforts
Allow yourself to be a beginner, even if it feels uncomfortable to stumble through something new
If you are frustrated at incompetent leadership try this:
Define what behaviors are most upsetting to you
List out how those behaviors are negatively impacting the outcome of the project
Explore if the leadership is willing to hear your observations
Deliver them with as little emotion and as much clarity as possible
Understand your own limits to work under this kind of leadership (where is your “line in the sand”?)
This is why we love having culture coaches at CleverTech, the clarity and deep questions can provide additional resources when feelings of frustration inevitably surface. In fact, a lack of clarity around expectations can also lead to stress and confusion when trying to make a decision of this magnitude.
Most of the time, the clarity we are looking for, lies in the hard conversation we are unwilling to have.
At the end of the day, the decision to stay or leave a position or project is never easy. Ultimately it comes down to who you want to be, in your life, in your work and for your loved ones.
Who would you be if you were to stick it out and stay and overcome these challenges?
Who would you be if you were to chose to leave?
Would you be a better husband and father if you left?
Would you be proud of your resilience if you stayed and overcame the obstacles?
These are the most important questions to ask - and not just when we feel like quitting.
We believe soft skills are the difference maker in the tech world and beyond. Click here to learn more about positions we are hiring for and how to join our team.